How to Become a Priority Instead of an Option

You don’t become a priority by:

-Giving more.
-Being more accommodating.
-Being less “needy.”
-Waiting patiently.
-Proving your value.

Start by asking yourself:

Am I making someone a priority who consistently treats me like an option?

What does being a priority look like?

He makes time for you and follows through on plans. He reaches out, takes an interest in your life, and listens to what matters to you. Your needs help shape decisions, and care and effort come from both of you.

You feel included, considered, and valued, not left wondering where you stand.

Relationship standards: Know what matters to you.
 

Standards are the things you want to count on in a relationship, such as regular time together, honest communication, and follow-through.
“I want a relationship where we both make time for each other and keep our plans.”

Self-worth: Give your needs a place, too.

Your feelings, time, and wishes matter. Practice naming what you want without feeling you have to earn it first.
“Spending time together matters to me. I’d like us to plan a date this week.”

Boundaries: Be clear about what works for you.

A boundary explains what you’re comfortable with and what you’ll choose.
“I like making plans ahead of time. Tonight I already have plans, but I’m available Saturday.”

Reciprocity: Make room for effort from both people.

Reciprocity means care goes both ways. You both reach out, make plans, listen, and offer support. It doesn’t have to be equal every day, but over time, both people contribute.

Being a priority means your needs have a place in the relationship, and you can see that in how you’re treated.